Month: May 2016

The rain started pouring last night. I was instantly drawn to the front porch, to see what there was to see. Ever since I was younger, I have loved seeing the rain and even, occasionally, dancing in the rain. So, I found my favorite porch swing and stared off into the distance.

Water cleanses and water makes up most of what is our planet. Water baptizes and water feeds our land. I thought about how nice it would feel to run through this wonderful element of water, without regard. The unchildlike side of me stayed on the swing.

As I hit six months of being back home, I have found myself seeing both such strides I have made and so many fears that have occupied my mind along the way. Sometimes, I get afraid of simply making a mistake. I know life is full of mistakes and mostly everything I learn can be traced back to the mistakes made beforehand. But there is something about making a mistake that I can never find exciting, still.

Like liquid, I hope the future will pour over all of my worries and make sense of everything. Some sense of purpose would be the rain to the desert I refer to — and I could definitely use something very torrential. I have to trust that that rain will come.

[Cue the Native American Rain Dance]

Until then, there is the actual rain. There is a pool in the back in which to swim. There is a dispenser of water from which to drink. There is all the actual water that I can think (of).

Let the rain pour down on me.

 

I woke up at 4:30am on Wednesday morning with a feeling that I might not fall back asleep. I was concerned. The fact that I had to be up in two hours was in the forefront of my mind. What does one do in such a moment of panic? One puts on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on one’s iphone and tries to escape the restlessness.

Season 2, Episode 10 was up in my Netflix queue. I began to watch. Titus Andromedon began speaking and I turned over on my side. A joke or two, sassy blink, and several funny lines later, I was curled up, involved. There is nothing like a good show. There is also nothing like a great character.

In this particular episode, Titus is involved with a “Coming Out” conversation between his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s family at the dining room table. All of a sudden, the Grandma appears, and I am in stitches and almost fell out of my bed. The way it was presented made even the 4:30am me unable to control the pains from belly laughter. I won’t go into too much detail right now just in case someone is actually reading this who has not seen the episode or the show at all. No one loves a spoiler, but that scene was just so funny to me.

Later, I asked my friends Nicole and Sarah to watch the scene at their house to see their reaction. They, too, laughed at the silliness, perhaps somewhat out of necessity, being that I had built it up so much. But, I appreciated their loyalty, if that’s what it was.

Bursting out in laughter is one of my favorite things in the world. I just wanted to write a little something about that because, when it happens, it just feels like life is suddenly so much more than okay. My friends bring laughter to my life all the time in this way and I am so grateful. I can’t wait for the next outburst.

Now, if you aren’t watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, get going!

 

Two purchases I made this week have left me feeling a little giddy. I thought I would share my experience with both. In no particular order, here are the details of each purchase:

1.

Trip to NYC (mostly Brooklyn) in July 

I have been feeling nostalgic and just know it’s time to get back to my friends and Park Slope. The weather is so nice here in Georgia and I was texting Liz and TL the other day that I just wish we could collide these two worlds (GA and NY) and have one perfect world. I think that particular day would have involved a bike ride to Coney. I miss seeing the back of those two, riding ahead, on an adventure. There is nothing like a bike ride on a beautiful day with beautiful people. However, whether there is biking involved or not during this July trip, there will be so much that I miss right now to do. I would totally go all the way with a homeless person for an Everything Bagel All the Way right now. 

2.

Shoes

Who doesn’t love a new pair of shoes?! I have been eyeballing some Adidas Superstar shoes at the mall for about a month and I finally took the plunge yesterday. There is nothing like wearing a new pair of shoes for the first time — like walking on air! I have a couple of casual events the next two weekends and my Nike shoes were looking a little beat. What’s a boy to do? 

• I just thought I would share two purchases I made this week. I have been pretty frugal lately and it feels pretty good/familiar. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a credit card to go put back on ice. 

Z