Turtlenecks and Pearls


So, I was thinking about the most random thing earlier today. The idea of Hell and what I would consider to be completely miserable consumed a few minutes of my afternoon. You know, classic work thoughts. Turtlenecks quickly came to mind.

When I was younger, I was forced to wear them and I despised them. Still do—but I just don’t wear them! The last time I did try to wear one, I had to go home and change because I couldn’t stop tugging at the collar of that ridiculous, maroon mf’er. Into the trash it went. 

Generally, I am not what one would consider to be claustrophobic; I mostly prefer safe, enclosed environments. The idea of endless space and/or falling into the sky has always been frightening to me. Keep me grounded, please!

Anyway, I came to the conclusion that, if the damned are forced to wear uniforms in Hell, a turtleneck must be a component of the agonizing outfit. My train of thought took me back to a story one of my besties told me years ago…

One day, she decided to wear a string of pearls she had inherited from some family member. She was going out that night and the look just seemed right. The feeling did not last long—she found herself at a social gathering feeling choked by her glistening heirloom. What ensued was a certain sort of struggle.

She tried and tried to properly remove the necklace, but could not seem to subdue the bastard. After giving it her best shot, she finally seized hold of the sinister strangler and ripped it right off. Pearls broke loose and fell to the ground.

From the way she described the experience, I am confident she does not regret breaking the necklace and does not miss it at all. I can empathize—because of the turtlenecks. One person’s accessories and garments can truly be another person’s worst nightmare.

As I am typing, I can almost feel the devil’s hands around my neck.


Z

 

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Fall Sweets



Earlier this week, I received an unexpected present from a sweet lady at the bank. I was making a deposit for work and the friendly face behind the counter lit up when I walked up. She reached under the counter and revealed a bag of M&M’S. Being a person who appreciates both gifts and sweets, my face also lit up when she handed it to me.

She and I had been discussing, days before, this limited-edition fall flavor and I had mentioned that I never heard of such a thing. But, I also asserted that I find great joy in trying things I’ve never tried before; I think she might have taken it as an oppurtunity to introduce a new flavor of a popular candy into my life. So very sweet!

Taste-wise, are they my new favorite thing to ever hit the shelves? Maybe not. The pecan pie taste is subtle and not everyone I shared them with was smitten. But, they are a fun reminder of today’s change of seasons and I am always a fan of autumn. I will also always be a fan of trying new things. When it comes to comfort zones, I think it’s a good practice to reach past our personal boundaries from time to time and to at least taste a bite of something new—even if it’s only seasonal. I think I’ll grab another handful of M&M’s now.

Z