A Friend Creates


An hour ago, I finished reading my friend’s first novel. The time I took to finish was, admittedly, way too long. But, I was determined to read only when I could give my full attention. Falling into the creative work of a friend is something incredibly delicate and special. 

The characters, storytelling, and page-turning quality were present the entire time; I would have found the statement to be true even if I did not know the author. I finished completely pleased with the way everything turned out. However, I really wanted to know what was to come. I imagine my reaction is a goal of any novelist. I immediately contacted my friend and shared my thoughts and feelings. 

I started thinking about how proud I am when a person I know creates something beautiful. These days (and really every day), supporting the people around us who are creating and expressing themselves is beyond necessary. Whether or not thousands of people ever get to read my brother’s essay, see my neighbor’s drawing, or hear my Grandma’s song she learned to play on the keyboard last week is far less important than the support we give each other—at the end of the day.

Perhaps I am being sentimental. But, I will always appreciate the time and energy an artist I know has put into a project. Love is probably the best word.


Z

Advertisements

Bad Friend

Bad Friend

Words and acknowledgement 
Only after I provided them first
When I needed you most
You never asked,
Is there anything I can do?
I guess I was blind and never knew
A person I considered to be so true could be
A bad friend

Chasing after a cunning delusion 
Years have gone by without
A whistle blown
The whistle is blowing now—
I am calling you out 
I think all these years I really had
A bad friend

When you left, you always left me
Feeling strange and guilty
As if I failed my call of duty
Loving me back never seemed easy
Now I finally see—
It was you
It was not me

Behind the ingenuous mask lies
A bad friend

A decision has to be made
Do I keep you or let you go,
My dud of an amigo?
I wonder if there are any words
You could possibly say
To make me not want to sever ties
And just walk away today

Leaving behind
A bad friend


Z

 

Hey for today

Hey for today

One day he ran
He ran very far away
Wondering if his family
Needed his stay

Fearless.
He should have been.

Soon, he looked back:
He heard a song
He was sitting on a stool
Holding a drink
He was singing along

He wondered why?!
He could not be there

I still see the back of you
Guiding and leading the pack
We biked miles to the beach 
We could say anything!
Any old thing—is the thing
To each other—to anybody

Anything but: Goodbye

Hopefully, we are all okay
Yesterday was quite the memory
Wishing so hard we could go back
Oh, but the pictures we have

The cement treadmill underneath us
Moments, never forgotten
Why did they turn dark and grey?

Why do the colors of life go away?

The only thing that matters for now
Is that we still say
Hey for today


Z

Give In

FullSizeRender.jpg
July 2014 in Prospect Park

Give In 

When you’ve become the same old song and dance,
A different costume on a different stage,
Maybe you need to take a deep breath again,
Find a new you, and begin again.

Is it worse to stay on a sinking ship
Or to be a person who gave it all up too soon?
A difficult question,
When you have white teeth and red lips
That can light up any room.

Directors will tell you to ease up,
Relax
Sometimes, tension is your body’s way of saying,
“Hon, it’s time to let it go.”

Fa la la la
Boo doo bee doo
Time to hang up the ol’ hat

And get a new ’do.

“Never give up”
Is all that you hear each day
But, do give in to taking a bow,
When it is you you are winning —
At the end of the play.


 

12.06

fullsizerender
Swimming in Negril

12.06

Taxi on the Brooklyn Bridge
Suitcase in the trunk
Carrying what was left of me

On a trip I had to take

Leaving home ain’t easy
Never a fun decision to make
But, made it was on 12.06
A year ago today

Where are you headed, Mr.?
Where will the road lead?
Cars can only take you so far,
Only go a certain speed
Where are you headed, Mr.?
This deal you have to seal
Could leave you different, in the end
So, now, how do you feel?

Visits back to the city
Have kept my heart upbeat
Faces I can only bare to miss so long
The streets I kiss leave me afraid to blink

Where I was a year ago
Gives perspective, when I stop to think
Of judging not where I am today
Rather, looking back to really see

Never can go back
Swimming ahead is all there is 
My arms can always paddle
When I wish to get away
Away is every place I reach
That’s the story, at least, today

Where are you headed, Mr.?
Where will the road lead?
Cars can only take you so far,
Only go a certain speed
Where are you headed, Mr.?
This deal you have to seal
Could leave you different, in the end
So, now, how do you feel?

To Rise Above Conflict

IMG_3503.JPG

For the Ride

Hand to my head
Hard to believe the words that were said:
Quantifying, analyzing, criticizing;
Destructive.

I held your hand
You pushed it away
Can the opinions and beliefs we carry
Really map out the way?

I was going to show you how love
Can be powerful, too
But, useless, it felt,
Judging by the response from you.

Then, a shift, a lean, a bend came along
Your side of the story soon came into view
Mine pulled up beside yours,
Four arms stretched and our differences withdrew.

Your head, in my lap, made me realize
The miles I would travel to be by your side
You’re a piece of the puzzle;
Still here. For the ride.

  • Listening to Beethoven’s Piano Sonata No. 14 in C Sharp Minor. Sometimes, life is not joyful and gets sad and the key turns minor. True friends hold all the keys.

Mickey Mouse Watch

FullSizeRender

My dear friend Ashley is getting married next month. Earlier this morning, she asked me to please select a few of my favorite old photographs of the two of us and to send them to her for a project her future Mother-in-Law is working on. I came home from work and started digging through my old trunk.

I found so many great photos from the fun times my friends and I once shared. I texted a few of my friends a sample or two of what I was sorting through. A couple friends were probably a little taken aback and/or embarrassed of the random blasts from the past. But, maybe that was one of the reasons I held on to the photos! 

While sorting through the contents of a particular box, I stumbled upon an envelope labeled Friends and Family. I found many memories stored inside the envelope and a few were items I have been searching for for quite some time. 

One of the items for which I have searched far and wide is the Mickey Mouse watch pictured above. I became so excited when I discovered the black straps and silver edges of the face of the tiny, worn, piece. Immediately, I called my mother and apologized for accusing her of throwing the watch away.

The item is so special to me, mostly because I have a very clear memory of where I was and the person I was with when the watch was given to me: I was with my mother at a mall in Cincinnati, Ohio. At the time, I must have been in kindergarten or somewhere around that age.

While we were walking around, I saw the watch on display and said aloud how badly I needed to own it. My mother asked the clerk how much the watch would cost. 30 dollars was the answer.

At the time, I thought 30 bucks was an absurd amount of money and I felt certain my family could not afford such a price. The look on my mother’s face said she knew what I was thinking and and she said, “We’ll take it.” I felt a combination of utter guilt and unequivocal materialism mix inside my little body. I wore the watch all the time.

At times, I can imagine what it must feel like to be a hoarder. I have so many sentimental items and letters from friends and family I would be so devastated to lose. Looking through my old trunk, I selected an item or two a wise man would probably toss out. After securing these items back in their spots, I began to dig for another envelope. 

Z